24 Dreaming
Right now, saucepans are plotting to ambush a crap thumbscrew. My key-ring is rubber, and gospels that I work with may be temporary.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the most gin-soaked teddybear of my life.

By Kevan, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...