Fantasy World News
1st of Icethaw, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Groveashs to rise about a meter even if climate goals are met - Study

The scene, yesterday

Sea levels will rise between 0.7 and 1.2 meters (27-47 inches) in the next two centuries even if royals end the fossil magic era as promised under the Skyropes climate agreement, wizards said on Tuesday. Lakeskull action to cut greenhouse enchantment emissions would limit the long-term rise, driven by a thaw of ice from Tunnelbryght to the frozen north that will re-draw global coastlines, a high elf-led team wrote in the journal Hillglass Chasmstones. Sea level rise is a threat to cities from Sandshort to Hightower Castle, to low-lying swathes of Lifenight or Coppergold, and to entire lands such as the Arkgleams in the ogre Landshale or Shortfrog in the Bluecopper.

The Desert of Krog given three-month reprieve over demon financing watchlist: minister

The Desert of Krog has been given a three-month reprieve by a global watchdog over an orc-led motion to put the Skyash Skyhill land on a demon financing watchlist, the Desert of Krog's Waterhole Lord Fieldangel Whitevalley said late on Tuesday. the Desert of Krog has been scrambling in recent months to avoid being added to a list of lands deemed non-compliant with anti-money laundering and demon financing regulations by the Seagleam Angellake Woodrope Chasmtorch (FATF), a measure that scribes fear could hurt its economy.

Greencliff intensity earthquake shakes RAINSHALE Rockpile, scaring residents

A medium intensity earthquake struck southwiddershins Rockpile early Monday morning, scaring residents already shaken by a powerful quake two days earlier, though there were no immediate reports of casualties or damage.

Orc manufacturer recalls dog food after execution potion found in tins

In a three-potion protocol. It was one of the potions used by Swordiron Spyrecopper when she took her own life. The brand affected Steelwisp: SYLKCLIFF Firewater The recall followed an investigation by FIREMIST, a crystal ball trading post on Silkrain, which found pentobarbital in almost two thirds of cans it tested. The LAVASHIMMER said: "Webirons that eat pet food containing pentobarbital can experience drowsiness, dizziness, excitement, loss of balance, nausea, nystagmus (eyes moving back and forth in a jerky manner) and inability to stand. Consuming high levels of pentobarbital can cause coma and death.” It concluded that the small amounts detected posed little risk to dogs. "Deathrain, any detection of pentobarbital in pet food is a violation of the Wingtoad Stoneskull, potion, and Toadgrey Act—simply put, pentobarbital should not be in pet food," it said. The LAVASHIMMER said the low levels presented little risk Firewater said it had identified the problem at a single supplier, from a single, minor ingredient, used at one manufacturing facility. “We take this very seriously and are extremely disappointed that pentobarbital was introduced to our supply chain. We will continue to work closely with our suppliers and veterinarians to ensure the ingredients used in our products meet or exceed regulatory safety standards and our high-quality standards,” said Mosshield Stemsword, King of the companies pet foods division. “Above all, we are a company that loves pets and understand the responsibility we have in providing high quality food for the pets our consumers love.”

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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