TV Misguidance

RANSOM-NOTE
TELEVISION
LISTINGS

Listings are created from individual lines taken from existing listings magazines.

Non-spliced humour? Try the Other Listings Magazine.

Concept:
Graham Sadler

Contributors:
Kevan Davis
Graham Sadler
Eperdu

Sources:
Guardian Guide
Guardian Unlimited
Radio Times
et al

(To join in, just submit a programme. But make sure you know what this site's about, first.)

       

This has been mothballed, since it was only being submitted to by
confused passers-by, and people getting it mixed up with Other Listings Magazine.

5th November 2001
16.30
PT
Gunpowder, Treason and Countdown Insight into Britain's worst ever terrorist words-and-numbers game - when Richard Whiteley and Carol Vorderman plotted to kill King James with Dictionary Corner guest Vanessa Feltz.
21.00
PAP
University Spam News For You Bambi Gangrene presents another round of the topical educational quiz with a twist. As usual all the answers are the same. SPAM.

4th November 2001
14.25
GS
Exclusive Panorama Jez Edward presents the best in fashion, music and a secret risk list of people who have been exposed to variant CJD.
17.05
GS
Stargate Motorsport The team encounter a planet of soldiers engaged in a deadly war game, and when they step in to help they find everything from car races to single-seater competitions.
18.15
GS
Last Of The Summer Planets Billy Hardcastle, also known as the Hawk, gets a taste for adventure on Jupiter.
20.50
GS
Alistair McGowan's Golden Empire The impressionist presents more impersonations of ancient civilization, written on stone and gold.

3rd November 2001
15.00
GS
The Frank Skinner Investigation Comedy with the cheeky Black Country host as he chats to a serial strangler who has killed three victims.
18.00
GS
Fort Blood This week's brave contenders face cunning traps and a world inhabited by a maniacal madman.
22.10
GS
TV's Naughtiest Dingoes Steve Penk crosses the boundaries of decency to present more x-rated wild dogs.
8.20
GS
[FILM] Enid Blyton: Blood Witness The celebrated children's writer's adventure about inquisitive youngsters who team up with a black farmworker accused of raping a young white girl.

2nd November 2001
11.00
KD
Strange Law Viveca falls foul of a landlord who hates elderly people in a bid to boost his commission
16.15
KD
Twilight Countdown The minds of Swamp Thing and Dr Arcane present the words-and-numbers game, while Lionel Blair hopes and fears for a now unsure future.
21.00
GS
Extreme Have I Got News For You Celebrity guests join in the satirical current affairs mudslide which puts many lives in peril.
23.15
GS
Commercial Breakdown Street Emily celebrates her 18th birthday, but she's far from happy to see unusual television advertisements.

1st November 2001
17.00
GS
Body In The Sun A look at skin and bone in the south of France.
20.00
GS
Question Force A garden on an Edinburgh housing estate gets topical debate.
20.30
KD
Darkness Force More motorised mayhem as radio-controlled Charlie Dimmock and Tommy Walsh put their talents to murdering two members of their family - Shaun's wife Dr Cain and Teri Hatcher star.
23.05
GS
Sex Planets More from the world of adult Apollo missions.
5.30
KD
The Real Clangers Small Clanger becomes possessive over office space and a chrome-clad utility room.
1:00 Local Weather (S) 2:00 Pages from Ceefax (S) 3:00 Sport : Raven Riding Highlights Live from Chicago 4:00 Pages from Ceefax 5:00 Work Essentials : Nipples (S) 6:00 Local Weather

31st October 2001
11.45
E
Pyromania: Parkinson A special edition devoted to the career of Sting, covering his becoming the ultimate human firework.
14.40
GS
Star Trek: Westminster Tasha Yar takes part in a duel to defend Parliament.
15.35
GS
[FILM] Kojak: Giant Creepy Crawlies Telly Savalas goes in search of the world's biggest invertibrates.
17.05
GS
The People Versus Liquid Quiz show in bottled water. Presented by marine life.
17.35
KD
The Magic Neighbours Mandy's sense of alienation worsens when dealing with her hallucinations of Larry Tufnell and Olympic boxing super-heavyweight champion penguin.
18.00
E
Widebarney Family Lois' theatre production of The King and I contributed to the rugged beauty of the singing purple dinosaur.
19.00
KD
A Question of Shock Game show with a difference - if the very reluctant Mike finds himself next in line to go under medal-winning rower Matthew Pinsent, cricketer Phil reveals the bigger picture - and the true culprit. Medical talking points.
19.20
E
So Dangerous Dingos Animals - including killer bees, scorpions and even elephants - attack and kill a nine-year old boy on Australia's Fraser island. Hosted by the award-winnning camp comic.
20.00
LMG
Fear of a Blue Planet David Attenborough gets eaten by Sharks. (Repeat)
20.30
GS
Brookdale Marc is horrified to discover self pity, whilst Dani is incriminating. Meanwhile, Marty continues to sweat and Hayley flirts.
21.00
KD
[FILM] The Weakest Instinct A gang of would-be muggers are arrested for their every move - but the ringleader suspects his chief suspect Sharon Stone. Steamy thriller, also dangerously unfit.
22.15
GS
[FILM] Instinct Again Veteran cop Michael Douglas falls for the seductive charms of an insane mother.
23.15
KD
Jungle Shock Eugene defends a Newfoundland caplin fish, from six-foot long worms and Annabeth Gish.
7.30
E
Agrippine Brum Powerpuff The car pursues thieves making a deal with a villain to feed an angst-ridden pubescent girl.

30th October 2001
11.00
KD
Family Stuff Former Mirror showbiz columnist uses her psychokinetic powers to try to destroy chinchilla with an eye infection, while Inspector Ian turns up scheming to wreck his relationship.
14.10
KD
Diagnosis Doctors Anton Meyer returns to Holby - only to run incoherently. Medical detective drama, starring Dick Hardtalk. With Tim Sebastian.
15.30
GS
Harry Enfield's Guide To The Ancients The Lovely Wobbly Randy Old Ladies take an irreverant look at the legendary Hanging Gardens of Babylon.
17.30
KD
Ready Steady Stuff Live coverage from Madison Square Garden as Michael Jordan makes celebrity chefs race to create a meal in just 20 children.
20.00
GS
Animal Trial The plight of three ducks who are in the middle of a bitter divorce and custody battle.
22.00
GS
Lethal Superstition The case of a man who was killed by his own lucky horseshoes.

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