TV Misguidance

RANSOM-NOTE
TELEVISION
LISTINGS

Listings are created from individual lines taken from existing listings magazines.

Non-spliced humour? Try the Other Listings Magazine.

Concept:
Graham Sadler

Contributors:
Kevan Davis
Graham Sadler

Sources:
Guardian Guide
Guardian Unlimited
Radio Times
et al

(To join in, just submit a programme. But make sure you know what this site's about, first.)

       

This has been mothballed, since it was only being submitted to by
confused passers-by, and people getting it mixed up with Other Listings Magazine.

8th February 2002
19.00
GS
Rogue World Matt Allright targets heating engineers who take their customers to the war-torn southern Philippines.
20.30
GS
Storm Garden A NASA scientist explores the possibility of a storm from the Sun destroying an alpine garden in Wales.
21.00
KD
World War Wildlife Pollard gets a little jittery as the police call members of Hitler's personal capuchin monkeys.
23.05
GS
It's Only World War But I Like It Comedy gameshow, presented by Hitler's personal bodygaurds.

7th February 2002
21.00
KD
[FILM] On Deadly Garden Steven Seagal defends the Alaskan gnomes behind his back.
1:00 Local News 1:05 Pages from Ceefax (R) (T) 1:40 Pages from Ceefax 2:00 Pobol y Cwm 2:15 Pages from Ceefax (T) 3:00 Learning Zone : GCSE Literacy Revision (T) 3:20 Pages from Ceefax 4:00 Pages from Ceefax (T)

6th February 2002
14.55
GS
Teachers of a Feather Tracey invites an old school friend to end up in an embarrassing situation thanks to a pair of scheming pupils.
18.55
GS
Antiques Dump The team visit the gardens of Knightshayes Court in Devon where they find a JCB digger.
19.30
GS
Family Street Scheming Richard keeps house-hunters in Leigh-on-Sea because of the amount of junk cluttering the pitfalls of modern life.
20.00
GS
Sharks in the Garden In one of the biggest challenges of the series, the team create a series of eccentric people who socialise with sharks.
22.00
GS
[FILM] Jackie Chan's Lost Picture World Kung-fu cop Jackie Chan uses his vivid imagination to create a breathtaking world in which dinosaurs shift from painting to film-making.
1:00 Sport : Traffic Cone Chasing from Chicago 1:40 The Clangers 2:00 Close 2:10 The Clangers (R) 3:00 Pobol y Cwm (T) 3:50 Sport : Five-a-Side Bamboo Spitting (T) 4:00 Pages from Ceefax (T) 4:45 The Clangers (T)

5th February 2002
13.40
GS
[FILM] Buchanan Rides Away Drifter Randolph Scott arrives in a small frontier town where he befriends car dealers who charge exorbitant prices for their vehicles.
20.00
GS
Food City DCI Metcalfe discovers the killer is murdering people with rhubarb crumble, faggots in rich onion gravy and, from across the Mediterranean, Greek favourite moussaka.
21.00
GS
Delia's Fat Wives The queen of cuisine blackmails Nurse Dunkley into bingeing and lapses in exercise during the selection of traditional British desserts.
1:00 Nightscreen (R) 2:00 Pobol y Cwm (T) 2:55 Pornography (T) 3:00 Learning Zone : AS-Level Goats 4:00 Learning Zone : GCSE Breasts Revision 4:55 News (T) 5:00 Learning Zone : A-Level Snails Theory (S) 5:40 Sport : Pro-Celebrity Noodle Skiing Live from Madrid (S) (T)

4th February 2002
13.10
GS
Turning The Barrier An aircraft manufacturer sets out to prove a plane can exceed the speed of Lambeth Council waste officer Shane Clarke.
18.20
GS
Pet Snooker Further coverage of today's second-round games at the National Seal Sanctuary in Cornwall.
19.30
GS
Healthcheck Force The success of acupuncture in treating the backyard of a terraced house.
22.55
KD
Dragonball CSI Goku and Pikkon continue to fight and investigate when a casino owner's son is found dead.

3rd February 2002
18.45
GS
Hidden Millionaire Masterworks Women and their partners talk candidly about the BBC Symphony Orchestra while musical accompaniment is provided by Chris Tarrant.
19.00
KD
Shooting Kids Fun and games for youngsters with the controversial MMR vaccine, the uptake of which has inadvertently released a deadly invisible agent.
21.00
GS
[FILM] The Big Love File A former FBI agent is tempted to destroy Rommel's thirtysomething Londoners as they steam up the screen.
0:45 Open University : Advanced Bricks 1:00 Pobol y Cwm (S) (T) 1:30 Pages from Ceefax 2:00 Ivor the Engine (T) 3:00 The Clangers 4:00 The Clangers 5:00 Work Essentials : Sheep (T) 6:00 Sport : Under-15s Noodle Golf (S)

1st February 2002
18.30
GS
Family Street Carrie decides to see how difficult or easy life can be and Nikki loses the perceived colour of Jim's ring.
19.00
GS
A Question of Garden Sue Barker asks the questions in the stunning foliage.
19.30
GS
The Inventions Zone A self-extinguishing chip cable car, a device for hanging high-profile people and a doorbell that stops a melange of modern shapes.
0:15 Pages from Ceefax (R) 0:55 Ivor the Engine 1:00 Local News 2:00 Learning Zone : Basic Triangles Revision (S) (T) 2:45 Sport : Nude Pro-Celebrity Long-Distance Wig Racing (S) 3:00 Ivor the Engine 3:25 Pages from Ceefax (S) (T)

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