DON'T FORGET TO
SWITCH OFF YOUR SET
Contributors:
Paul Davey
Paul Davey
Paul Davey
Oliver Prime
To join in, just submit a programme.
This is a largely unmoderated site, as you can probably
tell, but we will
delete
posts and ban people when we can be bothered.
Created because people
kept thinking that
TV Misguidance
was a general comedy listings thing.
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| 7th September 2008 | |
06.30
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JUMP UP AND DOWN SCREAMING YOUR FUCKING LUNGS OUT Childrens` TV
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06.35
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The Flailers Incomprehensible pre school fun with the screaming, defecating Flailers.
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13.00
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Ooh-Arr Hospital drama set in the ER department of a Cornish hospital.
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16.00
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The PaedophIsles Specialist travel programme
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18.00
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News With Pete Docherty and Amy Winehouse. (S)
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18.59
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[FILM] Bang! And The Twat Is Gone Exclusive footage of Cillit Bang`s Barry Scott finally getting what`s coming to him with the aid of a very large shotgun. (R)epeated as many times as possible
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19.00
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[FILM] Carry On In To The Rapture Saucy comedy starring Sid James and Hattie Jacques. As reality disintegrates around him during Armageddon, cockney rascal Sidney Fucknut ascends through a blinding white tube toward the Kingdom Of Heaven - only to discover he can see right up the skirt of a busty teenager travelling in front of him. (S)
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21.00
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[FILM] Gigolo Christ Controversial adult drama starring Ron Jeremy as Jesus Christ. When the Son Of God is bitten on the glans by a talking snake sent on behalf of Satan, He develops an insatiable lust for sex in all its forms. Contains masturbation, holy intercourse, messianic analingus, golden showers, Samaritan entry, pharisee stroking and a slow-motion close up of a colossal eruption of glutinous celestial cum showering across the gurning face of a writhing disciple simultaneously frigging himself in the arse with a grotesque knobbled dildo carved from the wood of Christ`s manger. (AD)
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| 6th September 2008 | |
13.00
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Lunchtime News The latest headlines. With Papa Smurf and Dr. Barnardo. (S)
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17.30
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Very Blue Peter Ground breaking childrens` education show in which Peter Purves guides primary school children through the effective use of swearing, discrimination and racism in the modern age. Tonight: twat, shit, poofs, cripples, coffin dodgers, jews and muslims. (R) (S)
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18.00
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Noddy - updated Big Ears invites Noddy for a sleepover, whereupon it's revealed that Big Ears is really a closet paedophile. Noddy runs to P.C. Plod for help, only to be handcuffed, thrown in a cell and sodomized by Sly and Gobbo. (In hi-definition where available.)
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20.00
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How Much Do You Reckon This Food Processor`s Worth? Well? How Much Is It Worth? Come On. For Fuck`s Sake Just Hazard A Guess You Half-Witted Proletarian Shit - We Haven`t Got All Fucking Day. This Is A Game Show, Not A Fucking Waiting Room. Now Spit Your Fucking Answer Out Or I`ll Kick You Back To Whichever Piss-Streaked Council Estate You Crawled From, So You Can Hatch The Rest Of Your Futureless Offspring In Empty Handed Misery. Now Answer Me, CUNT. Explicitly confrontational version of The Price Is Right. (S) (AD)
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21.00
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Keel Or No Keel? Which is better? Round the world yachtswoman Ellen McArthur reports from Portsmouth Royal Infirmary`s intensive care unit. (S) (AD)
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22.00
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Insomniac's Forum Tonight, Stephen Hawking reads "War and Peace" aloud, in its entirety.
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| 31st August 2008 | |
15.00
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[FILM] Shit Circuit Youngsters will love this hip spoof on DIY movies, in which a government toilet called Number Two gets struck by lightning, goes AWOL and takes on hilarious human characteristics.
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17.35
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Neighbours Harold tries to sail a boat made of Disprin across an ocean of piss.
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18.00
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News With Michael Jackson and Gary Glitter.
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19.00
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The World`s Most Rectally Troublesome Buildings Curious investigation that aims to determine the most anally excruciating building in the world by carving scale models of famous landmarks out of oak, and paying a group of paupers to shove them up their arses, and using state-of-the-art sonic assessment equipment to ascertain which one screams the loudest. Tonight, the Chrysler building, the Taj Mahal and 27 Queen Street, Eastbourne.
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20.00
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Where Do You Think You Are? Issues affecting Alzheimer`s sufferers. With Noel Edmonds and Mr. Blobby. (S)
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20.30
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How I Survived 911 The harrowing tale of one man`s treatment at the hands of Porsche dealers. (R) (S)
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21.00
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[FILM] Honey, I Browndicked An Acrobat Shocking and bizarre comedy starring Rick Moranis as an eccentric suburban inventor who, having plugged his brain in to a `mind magnifier` of his own creation, wakes to find himself inexplicably sodomising a circus performer in an antique bath.
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23.05
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[FILM] Kelly`s Whores Clint Eastwood and Telly Savalas head the cast of this enjoyable adventure yarn about a group of maverick GIs who decide to knock off a hoard of German prostitutes in occupied France. Savalas and the eccentric Donald Sutherland set to their assignment with gusto, while Eastwood remains as cool and laconic as ever. (R) (S) (AD)
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