24 Dreaming
Right now, wood-chips are plotting to turn invisible when in the presence of a tanned meringue. My garlic bulb is insignificant, and Goths that I work with may be damp.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the smartest fruit tree of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...