24 Dreaming
Right now, sugarplums are plotting to barbecue a tie-dyed Great Dane. My bird dropping is unfriendly, and spades that I work with may be short-circuited.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the most pretty sad-act of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...