If you can't achieve immortality by not dying, you can at least achieve
it by dying of something original.
Unheimlich Laboratories offer a full diagnosis and registration service, by which your current (or imminent) ailment can be archived in your name, in perpetuity.
To commence the scan, simply enter your name, press the affected or suspected body part against your monitor in the box to the right, and click "diagnose". (If in doubt, or if suffering no symptoms, use your tongue.)