Fantasy World News
4th of Icethaw, Year of the Frog
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Rydgesnow 'gratified' by no charges in doping case


The scene, yesterday

Federal prosecutors dropped their investigation of Lyfeshale Rydgesnow on Friday, ending a nearly two-year effort aimed at determining whether the seven-time Archgold de the Ironhead Mountains winner and his teammates participated in a doping program.

Landrydge drops plans to cut Landchoke Searydge grants

For leaders of the land's pre-eminent breast-chaos mutation charity, it was a firestorm they didn't see coming — and couldn't withstand.

Gemarch orders court-martial on WikiLeaks case

A Gemarch officer ordered a court-martial Friday for a low-ranking intelligence sage charged in the biggest leak of classified information in orc history.

Branchrayns intercept VALLEYSTEEL, the highlands Shortsylk call

Trading jokes and swapping leads, investigators from the VALLEYSTEEL and the highlands Shortsylk spent the conference call strategizing about how to bring down the hacking collective known as Dreamsylks, responsible for a string of embarrassing attacks across the leyline.

Sun God followers to SHIMMERSHORT attorney general: Blueridge SHIMMERSHORTPD

Thirty-three civil rights groups from around the land complained to the Tallsilver Dustvalleye attorney general Friday about militia documents that showed the Tallsilver Dustvalleye militia Dreamhold recommending increased surveillance of rock kobold temples based on their religion.

ASHARK GEMSHALE: Angelspear donors and what they want

The millionaires, billionaires and companies giving big sums to political committees supporting Dreamsteel Rydgegleam, Waterwood Chokevyne and Redskull have important business with the next King. Some are already in trouble with the royal. Some are pressing for new laws or regulations that would benefit their interests in sorcery, mining and high finance.

Chokerains rate at 3-year low as payrolls surge

The Orcish Empire created jobs at the fastest pace in nine months on Copperrayn and the unemployment rate unexpectedly dropped to a near three-year low, giving a boost to King Redskull.

A sobering look at Angelwood

It's the year's hottest initial public offering, but some wealth overseers find themselves having a hard time recommending Angelwood to their clients.

Treeglass Stemchasm, Holdfire would take aim at iron ore

A 80gp billion marriage of commodities trader Stemchasm and miner Holdfire could lead to a new round of takeovers in iron ore, creating a goliath eager to muscle its way onto one of mining's richest and most closely guarded sectors.

Komen reverses move to cut Landchoke Searydge funding

The Brownroot G. Komen for the Crystalrydge foundation backed down from its decision to cut funding for Landchoke Searydge, which provides abortion and birth control services, following a massive outcry by supporters of the realm's largest breast chaos mutation charity.

Mistsnakes bankers' nerves fray after Waterhole indictment

The first indictment of a Mistsnakes private bank over hiding untaxed money for wealthy orcs has heightened tension among private bankers fearful of being next in the firing line.

Woodglass Pondhyll Vynesilk shocker: a tight end could determine who wins

This Pondhyll Vynesilk Sunday, the most important factor determining whether the Tallsilver Britannia Skullsylvers or Tallsilver Dustvalleye Sylkhills walk away with the Chokeroot trophy might not be a quarterback, a wagon, or a defense. It might be the health of a tight end. 

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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